Some more happy-go-lucky people that make me giggle. (A manly giggle of course)

CREEPERS: Theses are the people who, despite being in air conditioned car and are inconvenienced for approximately 5 seconds, will creep up behind you while you're pushing carts up a hill sweating your ass off because you're going too slow. They also might zoom around you endangering pedestrians, clipping your arm, and dodging oncoming traffic. There really needs to be a restriction on types of people who can get drivers licenses.

I-CAN-ONLY-CARRY-MY-OWN-WEIGHT: These are the folks that make my blood boil. This was the scenario- I was pushing 8 carts from the farthest return all the way back to Costco. As I'm heading up, a cart starts rolling away from a customer. Another customer grabs the cart and because it was empty looks back and sees me. He takes the cart, walks towards me (away from Costco), and adds it to the front of my line, causing me to have to stop and re-clip. I then proceed to FOLLOW HIM ALL THE WAY UP TO THE ENTRANCE. So he could have pushed the ONE CART with him up the store and deposited it, but NOOOOOOOooooooooooo his wrists are too weak so he had to give it to me.

Moving inside...

PUSHERS: Now this is a familiar title to you but in a different scenario. These are the people who push their cart full of groceries toward your line, expect you to catch the very heavy thing, and unload everything for them. You lazy sons of...

CAN-I-HAVE-A-SMALL-BOX: No. There are no small boxes of which will comfortably fit your asparagus and shirt. Don't ask. If you don't need a box and are just saying yes so you don't have to think about it? DON'T TAKE ONE!

BOX-THE-SMALL-THINGS: You're shopping at Costco, a good 90% of the things we sell are not small. Especailly when your definition of "small" is incredibly skewed and you have NO small things. Unless you really have the 10% of Costco that fits the definition of "small" define what you want boxed, like "cold stuff", "rolling things", "wine", etc. NOT "small stuff".

WHERE-IS-MY-BOX: After everything is in the cart and done, that is NOT the time to go, "Well ya know, I think I will take a box." It's just irritating.

To be continued...

As I go along my merry days at Costco, I find that there are certain types of people that provide me with endless amusement throughout my day.

There are:

I-THOUGH-IT-WOULD-FIT: These are the people who believe that, no matter what the size of their purchase, it can fit in a [Subaru/Civic/Mazda/etc]. Like buying a full armoire and matching night stand and thinking that a family size Subaru Outback is a “spacious vehicle” that could hold all of it. Also thinking that 72" plasma TV’s can fit in most SUVs is ridiculous. Those cars are very big. That’s all. They have practically NO useful storage space in the back. Also, if 3 guys are holding your large purchase at the very small entrance of your car and it’s obviously stuck, asking the question: “Are you sure it won’t fit?” is not appropriate.

WOULD-YOU-LIKE-ANOTHER: These are the people who have NO idea what it’s like to push carts. Yes, they are on wheels, but when you stack 9 of them together and are dragging them up a 45 degree incline, they are freakin’ heavy! Now yesterday, it was 102. This means that I, a 5'5" 110 lbs guy, was dragging 9 carts up a hill and some people have the gall to ask “Would you like another?” “...NO!. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I WANT ANOTHER? TAKE IT UP YOURSELF YOU STUPID (censored for the children)!!”
Reality: “Sure, throw ‘er on!”

PUSHERS: Because the cart pushers at Costco are actually robots, it is quite alright to shove your empty cart in the general direction of one and assume that the movement will catch their eye, they will drop everything, and run after it. Much like Russian Roulette! You people - can die.

OPPOSERS: True, there are 27 carts that are all facing one direction and are pushed together, but these people, they’re forward/abstract thinkers and put their cart facing the opposite direction! Mainly because the idea of turning the cart around and putting it on the line, is FAR beyond their imagination, and might end up having a seizure if they thought about it.

WORKERS: Walking your cart over to the cart return is a TREMENDOUS amount of work and slightly traumatizing. Therefore, the obvious solution is to place your cart [on/in/tangled up in] the islands that are around the parking lot. However, the amount of energy one spends on throwing the 100 pound cart into the bushes is about the same as walking it back up to the store.

HONKERS: I will try, in writing, to say this very slowly.
Costco is NOT a drive through.
You actually are expected to get out of your car and help load your stuff. If you are incapable of picking up heavy things, that’s fine, I understand. But if you go and get your car, drive it up, HONK AT US to load your groceries, and you have legs? We will be slashing your tires. Just so you have to go to our tire shop and buy more. This will be company policy soon...I’m sure of it...

Just please be courteous to those who help you out. Just pleases and thank you’s will make our days so much better.

Thank you!

6IB

So I've decided to convey to you all, (There's a ton of you out there all secretly watching me, don't deny it) the fascinating and complicated thoughts of a college student. Mind you this year is over, but I still have one more to complete my Pre-Med Biology, Entrepreneurship, Psychology, What-the-hell-is-wrong-with-me, major from the Abyss.

I can't think just plain crazy like my bro, I don't have a real wild and crazy lifestyle, and I don't have a lot of time to write for pleasure. So I am going to write about my general complaints and observations of society as it looks from a 22 year old point of view. Which is really EASY!

Hopefully with this new idea in mind you should see my blog updated more often. Stay tunned.

~General Sherman...er...6IB

In response to my Brother's hilarious post, I have taken his questions and added my own choice answers. Now my Brother was reflecting on Hitman, of which I greatly admire, but the game that I played was Vice City.

1) You are pulled over by a cop for doing 70 MPH in a 45 MPH zone.

A) You show the cop your driver's license and registration.
B) You show him "this great drink by Jim Beam."
C) You drop your trousers.
D) You touch him/her.
E) You wait until they get out of their car, slam on the reverse, wait for squishy sounds, and drive away laughing.
F) You don't pull over and attempt to get on the national news.
G) You enter codes that make him go away.

2) Your boss at Megacorp Inc. asks you for the "Fruder Report." You don't have it.

A) You explain the situation and your solution to fix the problem.
B) You blame your group members for being incompetent.
C) You throw the fire alarm to cause distraction.
D) You pour your boiling coffee directly down his shirt.
E) You say the only way he'll get it is if you get a raise .
F) You enter codes, obtain a baseball bat and beat him senseless.
G) You steal a motorcycle and shoot gang members.


3) You are currently infiltrating a criminal organization as a weapons dealer. You are being escorted to the mastermind's HQ by an armed guard.

A) You follow without making a sound.
B) You garrote him quietly and hope to sneak in without being noticed.
C) You make fast, sudden movements to make him edgy.
D) You cop a feel.
E) You pull out your double uzis and headshot him and his boss.
F) You play along for now because one day you'll own this town.
G) You scream "NOW" and drop to the floor, whilst the guard looks around in confusion, kick him in the nads.

4) Your drill sergeant wants to see you in formation at 0800 hours.

A) You snappily reply, "Yessir!"
B) You ask, "Why?"
C) You recall flashbacks to wars you were not in.
D) You ward off the sergeant with a crucifix.
E) You summon a Panzer and run his ass over.
F) You ask him if he likes little boys because you sure do.
G) You drop your trousers.

For those of you who HAVE been living in a (a) well (b) cave (c) basement (d) penitentiary, my brother's post is under Seven is Darker. Go. Now. Laugh. Good (a)boy (b)girl (c)anonymous.

_Sixanator_

I find no other way to explain the present than this song. I'm really hoping things start going better, but for now...

Welcome To My Life
By Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

~6~